Groundskeeper’s Dog Dressed for Fourth of June Steals Attention From the Fireworks
Groundskeeper’s Dog Dressed for Fourth of June Steals Attention From the Fireworks | A small act of festive spirit becomes the most photographed moment of the day
Pupil’s Increasingly Elaborate Apologies for Chronic Lateness Have Become Their Own Genuine Art Form
Pupil’s Increasingly Elaborate Apologies for Chronic Lateness Have Become Their Own Genuine Art Form | A persistent habit of tardiness is now matched by an equally persistent tradition of creative excuses
House Risk Tournament Descends Into Genuine Diplomatic Saga Lasting All Day
House Risk Tournament Descends Into Genuine Diplomatic Saga Lasting All Day | A simple board game evening spirals into hours of shifting alliances
Pupil’s Deliberately Unglamorous Meal Photo Account Draws Surprisingly Genuine Appreciation
Pupil’s Deliberately Unglamorous Meal Photo Account Draws Surprisingly Genuine Appreciation | An intentionally humble presentation style proves more popular than any polished alternative
Family Taxi Journey Took a Genuinely, Suspiciously Longer Route Than the Actual Distance Warranted
Family Taxi Journey Took a Genuinely, Suspiciously Longer Route Than the Actual Distance Warranted | A fairly short intended journey somehow extended into a considerably more elaborate tour of the local area
Family’s Confidently Marketed ‘Eco-Friendly’ Car Genuinely Uses Considerably More Fuel Than Advertised
Family’s Confidently Marketed ‘Eco-Friendly’ Car Genuinely Uses Considerably More Fuel Than Advertised | A carefully chosen, environmentally conscious purchase produced results considerably less green than promised
New Boy Asks Wall Game Score, Told to Come Back Next Century
A first-term Etonian wants to know who is winning the Wall Game, and the school’s most experienced players explain that the question is not how it works. ETON, England (Eton College) – A new boy in his first term at Eton College asked a senior player on Tuesday what the score was in the Wall Game, and was advised to…
Pupil’s Insistence on Removing His Shoes During Long Coach Journeys Draws Genuine, Vocal Objection
Pupil’s Insistence on Removing His Shoes During Long Coach Journeys Draws Genuine, Vocal Objection | A personal comfort preference proves genuinely less popular with fellow passengers than intended
Eton Politics Society Ranks Every Term’s Achievements, Debates Order
Eton Politics Society Ranks Every Term’s Achievements, Debates Order | Retrospective exercise nearly reopens every settled dispute from the past year
Sixth Former’s Half-Term Camping Trip Recounted in Exhausting, Entertaining Detail
Sixth Former’s Half-Term Camping Trip Recounted in Exhausting, Entertaining Detail | A family holiday gone wrong becomes the year group’s favourite anecdote of the week
Art Class’s Ambitious Mural Project Nearly Ruined by a Single Knocked-Over Paint Tin
Art Class’s Ambitious Mural Project Nearly Ruined by a Single Knocked-Over Paint Tin | Weeks of careful work come within inches of a genuine disaster
Eton Delays Term Over Sewers, Tells Boys Homework Is Still Due
When the risk of flooded sewers pushes back the first day of term, the pupils discover that a delayed school year is not a cancelled one, and that Latin travels well. ETON, England (Eton College) – Pupils who were told two winters ago that term would start late because of the risk of flooded sewers gathered in the dining hall…
Christmas Fair Santa Volunteer Threatens to Quit Over Genuinely Reasonable Scheduling Grievance
Christmas Fair Santa Volunteer Threatens to Quit Over Genuinely Reasonable Scheduling Grievance | A beloved seasonal volunteer’s mild protest is resolved before anyone has to find a replacement
Tea Society Member’s Elaborate Tasting Notes for Ordinary Breakfast Tea Draw Affectionate Mockery
Tea Society Member’s Elaborate Tasting Notes for Ordinary Breakfast Tea Draw Affectionate Mockery | A genuinely enthusiastic approach to tea appreciation produces some remarkably overwrought commentary
House ‘Fun Committee’ Becomes Genuinely More Bureaucratic Than Any Actual Academic Society
House ‘Fun Committee’ Becomes Genuinely More Bureaucratic Than Any Actual Academic Society | An organisation founded purely to organise enjoyable activities develops an unexpectedly serious administrative structure
Pupil’s Enthusiastic Adoption of a Brand-New Housemate’s Nickname Was Genuinely, Slightly Premature
Pupil’s Enthusiastic Adoption of a Brand-New Housemate’s Nickname Was Genuinely, Slightly Premature | A well-intentioned attempt at quick friendship produced a nickname deployed considerably earlier than actually welcomed
Pupil’s Dramatic Announcement of Going Vegan Quietly Reverses Course Within a Genuinely Short Timeframe
Pupil’s Dramatic Announcement of Going Vegan Quietly Reverses Course Within a Genuinely Short Timeframe | A bold, publicly declared commitment meets the considerably less dramatic reality of actually following through
Eton Boys Compare Interview Panic Answers, Rank Them Informally
Eton Boys Compare Interview Panic Answers, Rank Them Informally | Upper Sixth compiles unofficial hall of fame for unexpected composure
Leaving Sixth Former’s Carefully Curated Farewell Playlist Becomes a House-Wide Tradition
Leaving Sixth Former’s Carefully Curated Farewell Playlist Becomes a House-Wide Tradition | A thoughtful musical send-off resonates considerably further than its creator expected
Pupil’s Insistence on Excessive Comfort Items During School Camping Trip Draws Affectionate Ridicule
Pupil’s Insistence on Excessive Comfort Items During School Camping Trip Draws Affectionate Ridicule | A genuine preference for comfort has produced a packing list considerably more ambitious than the activity required
Music Practice Room’s New Drummer Tests the Patience of Every Neighbouring Room
Music Practice Room’s New Drummer Tests the Patience of Every Neighbouring Room | An enthusiastic beginner’s dedication proves considerably louder than his neighbours anticipated
Coach Journey Singalong Descends Into Genuinely Chaotic Multi-Song Overlap
Coach Journey Singalong Descends Into Genuinely Chaotic Multi-Song Overlap | A simple attempt at group entertainment loses all coordination within minutes
University Open Day Minibus Trip Nearly Misses Its Own Departure
University Open Day Minibus Trip Nearly Misses Its Own Departure | Sixth Formers arrive at the coach park to find the coach has already left without them
School Photographer’s Enthusiastic Upselling Leaves Parents Politely Overwhelmed
School Photographer’s Enthusiastic Upselling Leaves Parents Politely Overwhelmed | A simple group photo order becomes a lengthy exercise in gentle persuasion