Pupil’s Holiday Dog Training Project Yields Mixed but Entertaining Results
Pupil’s Holiday Dog Training Project Yields Mixed but Entertaining Results | Weeks of dedicated effort produce one impressive trick and considerable chaos
Author: Falstaff O'Flaherty
Forgotten Phone Alarm Breaks Silence During Chapel’s Most Solemn Moment
Forgotten Phone Alarm Breaks Silence During Chapel’s Most Solemn Moment | A cheerful ringtone arrives at precisely the wrong point in the service
School Jumble Sale Sells Out of Everything Within an Hour, Organisers Left Scrambling
School Jumble Sale Sells Out of Everything Within an Hour, Organisers Left Scrambling | A modest fundraising idea outgrows its own careful planning almost immediately
Pupil’s Solo Applause Upon Landing During a School Exchange Trip Produces Genuine, Widespread Amusement
Pupil’s Solo Applause Upon Landing During a School Exchange Trip Produces Genuine, Widespread Amusement | One enthusiastic pupil’s spontaneous celebration briefly stood entirely alone before the cabin properly reacted
Charity Fundraiser’s Surprise Flash Mob Launch Proves Considerably More Disruptive Than Planned
Charity Fundraiser’s Surprise Flash Mob Launch Proves Considerably More Disruptive Than Planned | An enthusiastic attempt at a memorable announcement produces more chaos than genuine excitement
Chemistry Practical’s Foam Experiment Escapes Its Intended Container Entirely
Chemistry Practical’s Foam Experiment Escapes Its Intended Container Entirely | A carefully measured demonstration produces considerably more foam than planned
Fourth Former’s Sleepwalking Episode Handled With Practiced Calm by Night Matron
Fourth Former’s Sleepwalking Episode Handled With Practiced Calm by Night Matron | A brief nighttime wander ends safely thanks to quick, gentle intervention
British Weather Jokes
The permitted national feeling, filed as drizzle The London Prat Scriptor Rerum Novarum Cupidus: Morag Sinclair
Eton House Table Tennis League Table Leaked, Chaos Ensues
Eton House Table Tennis League Table Leaked, Chaos Ensues | Previously informal rankings become subject of formal dispute overnight
Prefect’s Habit of Framing Genuine Gossip-Sharing as Official ‘Welfare Checking’ Amuses the Whole House
Prefect’s Habit of Framing Genuine Gossip-Sharing as Official ‘Welfare Checking’ Amuses the Whole House | A genuine enjoyment of house news has developed its own convenient, entirely transparent official cover story
Pupil’s Deliberately Absurd Daily ‘Horoscope’ Readings for His Own Plants Become a Genuine House Bit
Pupil’s Deliberately Absurd Daily ‘Horoscope’ Readings for His Own Plants Become a Genuine House Bit | An obviously ironic joke has developed considerably more consistency than anyone originally expected
Eton Boy’s Interview Prep Now Includes Bridge Question Bank
Eton Boy’s Interview Prep Now Includes Bridge Question Bank | Careers office admissions folklore hardens into formal revision resource
Pupil’s Genuine Conviction That a Specific Tuck Shop Drink Fixes His Mood Draws Gentle Skepticism
Pupil’s Genuine Conviction That a Specific Tuck Shop Drink Fixes His Mood Draws Gentle Skepticism | A consistent beverage choice has been credited with considerably more emotional influence than seems likely
English Set’s Debate Over the Greatest Literary Character Turns Genuinely Heated
English Set’s Debate Over the Greatest Literary Character Turns Genuinely Heated | A casual classroom aside spirals into a passionately argued, ongoing dispute
Pupil’s Habit of Framing Every Statement as a Confident Personal Affirmation Baffles Housemates
Pupil’s Habit of Framing Every Statement as a Confident Personal Affirmation Baffles Housemates | An unusual speaking style has transformed ordinary conversation into something considerably more declarative
Founder’s Day Ceremony Proceeds With Only One Genuinely Memorable Disruption
The annual formal occasion survives a brief but notable interruption A Ceremony That Nearly Went Entirely To Plan This year’s Founder’s Day ceremony, a longstanding formal tradition involving considerable pageantry, several lengthy speeches, and the school’s full assembled community, proceeded largely without incident until the closing address, during which a pigeon, apparently unaware of the occasion’s significance, entered the hall…
Inter House Quiz Competition Descends Into Genuine Controversy Over Disputed Answer
A single contested question threatens the evening’s entire result A Friendly Competition That Grew Considerably Less Friendly This term’s inter house general knowledge quiz, typically a lighthearted evening event drawing modest but genuine competitive interest, reportedly descended into formal dispute after one house’s answer to a question regarding nineteenth century parliamentary history was marked incorrect despite what that house’s captain…
Classics Department Proposal To Make Latin Fully Optional Meets Fierce Internal Resistance
A modernizing suggestion divides staff along surprisingly generational lines A Proposal That Was Never Going To Go Quietly A recent staff meeting proposal to make Latin fully optional for younger year groups, put forward by a newly appointed classics master hoping to modernize the department’s approach, reportedly met immediate and considerable resistance from several longtime colleagues, with one senior master…
Eton Boy Requests Extension On Extension Request Form
Eton Boy Requests Extension On Extension Request Form | Careers office confirms this is procedurally, if not spiritually, permitted
Eton Politics Society Invites Neighbouring School To Joint Debate
Eton Politics Society Invites Neighbouring School To Joint Debate | Cross-institutional political engagement follows economic precedent set elsewhere
Debating Society President Reveals Long-Held Fear of the Chapel Bell
Debating Society President Reveals Long-Held Fear of the Chapel Bell | Confident public speaker admits one very specific sound still makes him jump
Eton Latin Department Declares Two-Week Immersion Fortnight
Staff and boys ordered to communicate exclusively in Latin, chaos ensues by lunch An Ambitious Pedagogical Experiment The Classics Department at Eton has launched what it is calling Immersion Fortnight, a two-week initiative under which all staff and boys enrolled in Latin are required to communicate exclusively in the language during lessons, meals, and, controversially, games. Head of Classics Dr.…
Eton College Confirms One House Has Been Quietly Winning The Interhouse Choir Competition By Recruiting Exclusively From The Same Three Families For Twenty Years
Rival houses have called for an official inquiry into what they’re calling “genetic favoritism” WINDSOR Eton College confirmed this week that one house has won the school’s Interhouse Choir Competition for an unbroken twenty years, a streak rival houses now allege stems from what they’re calling “genetic favoritism,” after discovering the winning choir has drawn its strongest voices almost…
Housemate’s Genuinely Dramatic Personality Shift Before Breakfast Has Become a Reliable House Warning System
Housemate’s Genuinely Dramatic Personality Shift Before Breakfast Has Become a Reliable House Warning System | A predictable morning transformation has developed its own informal early warning protocol