A persistent habit of tardiness is now matched by an equally persistent tradition of creative excuses
A Persistent Habit Matched by an Equally Persistent Creative Tradition
A Fourth Former’s consistent, genuinely reliable habit of arriving late to almost every scheduled house activity has developed alongside an equally consistent tradition of increasingly elaborate, creative apologies, several housemates admitting they now “genuinely look forward to hearing his excuse almost as much as we’ve stopped actually expecting him on time.” The boy, entirely aware of his own reputation, insists that “if I’m going to be late anyway, I might as well make the apology genuinely entertaining rather than just a boring ‘sorry, I’m late’ every single time.”
A Collection of Genuinely Elaborate Excuses
Recent apologies reportedly included what one housemate called “a genuinely detailed, multi-part account involving a series of increasingly improbable obstacles,” delivered with what listeners describe as “considerably more theatrical commitment than any simple explanation for tardiness actually requires.” Several housemates have taken to keeping an informal ranking of his best excuses, one recent effort reportedly earning what the group considers “genuinely one of the finest examples of the form we’ve heard all term.”
A Habit That’s Become Its Own Small House Tradition
Rather than find the persistent lateness genuinely frustrating, several housemates admit the accompanying apologies have become a source of consistent entertainment, one noting that “at this point, showing up on time would honestly be a bit disappointing, purely because we’d miss out on whatever creative excuse he’d have come up with instead.” The boy has embraced his reputation fully, occasionally preparing particularly ambitious excuses in advance for occasions he knows he’ll likely be late to.
A Pattern Housemates Have Fully, Fondly Embraced
School Life understands the tradition shows no sign of changing, several housemates now treating the whole dynamic as “a genuinely reliable, entertaining feature of house life” rather than any genuine source of frustration.
A Habit Turned Into Genuine, Ongoing Entertainment
Whatever future lateness occurs, several housemates say the accompanying apologies have made the whole pattern considerably more endearing than irritating, one summing up the sentiment simply as “he’s basically never actually on time, and honestly, the excuses alone have made that completely worth it.” The housemaster, informed of the ongoing tradition, has requested only that the actual lateness itself eventually be addressed, a request received with considerably less enthusiasm than the apologies themselves. The boy has promised to “genuinely consider” improving his punctuality, a pledge his housemates have received with predictable skepticism. Nobody, including the boy himself, expects any actual change to follow. The excuses, at least, are expected to remain consistently entertaining regardless.
More from this section at School Life and coverage of the wider school world at The London Prat.
For further reading in a similar spirit, see The Onion and Private Eye.
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