Eton Lost Property Office Declares Independence From Reality
Eton Lost Property Office Declares Independence From Reality | Cupboard of unclaimed jumpers now larger than several actual classrooms
Author: Touchstone Tumbles
Wall Game Veterans Say the Royal Feud Is Exactly Like the Wall Game: Enormous Effort, No Goals, Nobody Wins
Eton most famously baffling sport offers a surprisingly accurate model of the Prince William traitor story, according to boys who have played it Against the Wall ETON – Veterans of the Eton Wall Game, the ancient and famously bewildering contest in which two sides push against each other along a brick wall for an hour and very rarely score, say…
House Wellbeing Peer Buddy’s Genuine Enthusiasm for Actually Discussing Other People’s Business Draws Amusement
House Wellbeing Peer Buddy’s Genuine Enthusiasm for Actually Discussing Other People’s Business Draws Amusement | A genuinely well-intentioned support role has developed a rather less discreet reputation than intended
Pupil’s Monthly Self-Assessment of His Own House Contributions Baffles and Impresses Housemates
Pupil’s Monthly Self-Assessment of His Own House Contributions Baffles and Impresses Housemates | A genuinely disciplined habit of formal self-review has extended into territory nobody else considered necessary
Old Boys’ Reunion Dinner Seating Chart Reportedly Triggers Minor Diplomatic Incident
Organisers say balancing decades of rivalries and friendships proved considerably harder than expected WINDSOR – The carefully planned seating arrangement for Eton College’s annual old boys’ reunion dinner reportedly triggered a minor diplomatic incident this year, after several attendees discovered they had been placed at tables considerably further from certain old friends, or notably closer to certain old rivals, than…
Pupil’s Genuinely Alarming Stack of Overdue Library Books Finally Gets Properly Returned
Pupil’s Genuinely Alarming Stack of Overdue Library Books Finally Gets Properly Returned | Months of accumulated borrowing finally catches up with a genuinely apologetic offender
Eton Joint Social With Nearby School Descends Into Silence
Eton Joint Social With Nearby School Descends Into Silence | Careful seating plan collapses within four minutes of the first dance
Common Room’s ‘Smart’ Speaker Consistently Misunderstands the Simplest Possible Requests
Common Room’s ‘Smart’ Speaker Consistently Misunderstands the Simplest Possible Requests | An expensive piece of supposedly intelligent technology has developed a genuinely impressive talent for confusion
Visiting University Sports Scout’s Casual Watch Sends Squad Into Overdrive
Visiting University Sports Scout’s Casual Watch Sends Squad Into Overdrive | News that a scout might be present transforms an ordinary training session
Relative’s Genuinely Enthusiastic Gym Membership Was Used Precisely Once Before Being Entirely Forgotten
Relative’s Genuinely Enthusiastic Gym Membership Was Used Precisely Once Before Being Entirely Forgotten | A confident, well-intentioned commitment to regular exercise produced a single visit and considerable ongoing expense
Brief Fitness Craze Sweeps Common Room Before Fading Within a Fortnight
Brief Fitness Craze Sweeps Common Room Before Fading Within a Fortnight | A trendy workout video briefly becomes the most popular thing in the house
Eton Boy’s Flashcards Now Outnumber Actual Syllabus Content
Eton Boy’s Flashcards Now Outnumber Actual Syllabus Content | Revision aid inflation reaches new heights ahead of summer exams
Pupil’s Sibling’s Fond, Repeated Reminders of a Minor Childhood Mishap Amuse the Whole Family
Pupil’s Sibling’s Fond, Repeated Reminders of a Minor Childhood Mishap Amuse the Whole Family | A genuinely minor, entirely forgettable childhood moment has been affectionately preserved in permanent family memory
The Guardian’s Manchester Years
How one of Britain’s major national papers began as a regional Manchester title before its eventual move south One of Britain’s most significant national newspapers began its existence as a distinctly regional Manchester publication, a history this paper’s coverage of Manchester Humour finds genuinely worth examining for what it reveals about the relationship between regional press identity and eventual national…
Chapel Reading Rota Mix-Up Leaves Wrong Boy At the Lectern
Chapel Reading Rota Mix-Up Leaves Wrong Boy At the Lectern | A scheduling note is misread, and a Fourth Former finds himself unexpectedly reading Corinthians
Eton Boys Petition For Second Legendary Sofa In Rival House
Eton Boys Petition For Second Legendary Sofa In Rival House | Furniture preservation movement spreads faster than anyone anticipated
Eton Boy Builds Working Vending Machine For Illicit Snacks
Eton Boy Builds Working Vending Machine For Illicit Snacks | Engineering ambition collides directly with anti-stockpiling crackdown
Pupil’s Dedicated Freecycling Hobby Turns Up Genuinely Useful Furniture From House Clear-Outs
Pupil’s Dedicated Freecycling Hobby Turns Up Genuinely Useful Furniture From House Clear-Outs | A commitment to reducing waste yields some surprisingly good finds
Staff Spelling Bee Reveals Some Genuinely Surprising Weaknesses Among Even the Most Confident Teachers
Staff Spelling Bee Reveals Some Genuinely Surprising Weaknesses Among Even the Most Confident Teachers | A lighthearted end-of-term staff event produces several unexpectedly humbling moments
Pupil’s Elaborate Future Goals Vision Board Covers an Entire Wall of His Study Bedroom
Pupil’s Elaborate Future Goals Vision Board Covers an Entire Wall of His Study Bedroom | A modest planning exercise has expanded into something considerably more ambitious in scope
Pupil’s Genuinely Elaborate Exeat Journey Purely for a Specific Bakery’s Pastries Baffles Housemates
Pupil’s Genuinely Elaborate Exeat Journey Purely for a Specific Bakery’s Pastries Baffles Housemates | A modest breakfast preference has produced a surprisingly ambitious travel commitment
Dr Thorpe-Willoughby’s Mobile Phone Crusade Suffers Predictable Fate Of All His Previous Crusades
The housemaster’s latest prohibition meets familiar teenage ingenuity Another Prohibition, Another Familiar Ending Dr Nigel Thorpe-Willoughby, fresh from the quiet, dignified collapse of his campaign against the word bantz, has this term turned his considerable but historically ineffective disciplinary energy toward mobile telephones, issuing a memo describing the devices as a corrosive influence upon what he termed the noble art…
School Magic Society’s Weekly Meeting Turns Into a Genuine Battle of Skill
School Magic Society’s Weekly Meeting Turns Into a Genuine Battle of Skill | A friendly show-and-tell format develops an unexpectedly competitive edge
Eton Politics Society Formally Archives Constitution In School Library
Eton Politics Society Formally Archives Constitution In School Library | School-state governing document finds permanent home beyond Old Library shelf