Author: Moth McFly

Judges rank the sharpest deadpan boarding school newspaper satire covering British educational tradition WINDSOR (May 2025)—This cycle’s review of British boarding school comedy concluded with judges praising entries that sustained genuine institutional deadpan across a full traditional setting. The panel rewards submissions treating centuries-old tradition with exactly the earnest, unblinking seriousness the institution itself would apply. Readers asked how the…

An early morning practice reveals the genuine limits of teenage stamina A Session That Started Promisingly Enough The junior rowing eight’s Tuesday morning practice on the river reportedly proceeded smoothly for the first twenty minutes before the coxswain, a fourth former reportedly recovering from a demanding week of prep deadlines, was discovered to have fallen genuinely and briefly asleep mid…

Housemaster’s crusade against modern slang produces predictably ironic results A Linguistic Crusade That Backfires Within The Hour Dr Nigel Thorpe-Willoughby, long regarded around College as the last true defender of the Queen’s English despite the Queen in question having been gone some years now, this week issued a formal classroom ban on the word bantz, describing it in a memo…

Investigators say the operation involved a genuinely sophisticated exchange rate between subjects WINDSOR — Eton College confirmed this week that a Fifth Form boy has been quietly operating what staff are calling a “genuinely sophisticated” homework trading network out of a corner table in the school library since the start of the autumn term, complete with an internally consistent exchange…

Boys demand transparency, brunch options, and possibly a subcommittee The Announcement That Started It All Eton’s tuck shop has removed avocado toast from its short-lived brunch menu, a decision the school says was made “on catering grounds” and which the Sixth Form Political Society insists was made “on grounds no one has adequately explained.” The dish, introduced only last half…