A lighthearted poll reveals just how much a slammed door can unite a house in irritation
A Lighthearted Poll With a Clear Winner
An entirely voluntary, anonymous house survey inviting pupils to nominate their single most irritating habit encountered among housemates produced a surprisingly decisive result this week, with a specific and apparently widely shared grievance about a particular boy’s habit of slamming his bedroom door regardless of the hour receiving nearly three times as many votes as the next closest entry, a margin the survey’s organiser called “genuinely more one-sided than I expected for something meant to be a bit of fun.” The survey, circulated informally by a Fifth Former as a lighthearted end-of-term exercise, drew a noticeably enthusiastic response rate compared to most official house communications.
The Runners-Up, Also Revealing
Beyond the runaway winner, the survey’s results included a range of smaller but genuinely felt grievances, including complaints about shared bathroom towel etiquette, a persistent habit of leaving communal kitchen mugs unwashed, and one entry simply reading “the way certain people chew,” an entry the organiser admits he “genuinely cannot trace back to a specific culprit, though I suspect most people reading this already know who they mean.” Several boys have taken the results in good humour, with the door-slammer in question, once his identity became something of an open secret, reportedly accepting the unofficial title with more grace than the survey’s organiser had anticipated.
A Constructive Outcome, Despite the Format
The housemaster, informed of the survey’s results, has used the door-slamming complaint as a genuine opportunity to gently address the issue directly with the boy concerned, a conversation both parties describe as “considerably more good-natured than the anonymous survey format might have suggested.” The boy himself has since made a visible effort to close his door more quietly, a change several housemates have noted with evident appreciation.
A Tradition Worth Repeating
Eton College Insight understands the survey’s organiser is already planning a follow-up version for next term, curious to see whether the door-slamming complaint retains its commanding lead or whether a new grievance emerges to challenge it.
A Small Exercise With a Genuine Impact
Whatever its lighthearted framing, the housemaster says the survey achieved something genuinely useful, surfacing minor but real sources of household friction in a way that felt considerably less confrontational than a direct complaint, a format he says he would consider adopting more formally in future. The door-slamming boy himself has since joked that he may request the survey be run again next term, purely to see whether his newly quieter habits earn him a noticeably lower vote count.
More from this section at Eton College Insight and coverage of the wider school world at The London Prat.
For further reading in a similar spirit, see The Onion and Private Eye.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk
