A single line of text has received considerably more careful thought than most actual coursework
A Single Line of Text Given Genuinely Excessive Consideration
A Fourth Former’s habit of spending what his roommate estimates as “genuinely far longer than any reasonable person should” carefully composing and revising his personal status line on the house group chat platform has become a source of considerable, affectionate bemusement, the boy reportedly drafting and redrafting even the briefest status update with what one housemate called “genuinely more editorial care than most of us apply to actual essays.” The boy, entirely sincere about the deliberation involved, insists that “the status line genuinely represents how I want to be perceived, so it’s worth getting properly right.”
A Process That’s Produced Genuinely Extended Deliberation
The roommate reports witnessing the boy “genuinely typing, deleting, and retyping the same three-word status update for what felt like a genuinely absurd amount of time,” a process the boy defends as “just making sure it’s actually right before committing to it publicly.” Several housemates find the sheer disproportion between the status line’s brevity and the deliberation invested “genuinely one of the more entertaining things about him.”
A Habit Housemates Have Come to Find Genuinely Amusing
Rather than find the overthinking genuinely tedious, several housemates have taken to jokingly requesting updates on his current deliberation process, one admitting he “genuinely enjoys checking in on how the status line saga is progressing on any given day.” The boy has embraced his growing reputation, occasionally sharing his shortlisted options with interested housemates before making his final choice.
A Reputation Firmly, Fondly Established
Eton College Insight understands the boy’s status line deliberations have become something of a minor house entertainment, several housemates checking in specifically to see what he’s settled on for any given week.
A Genuinely Endearing, if Wildly Disproportionate, Habit
Whatever future status lines he composes, several housemates say the habit has become a genuinely fond feature of house life, one summing up the sentiment simply as “it’s three words, genuinely just three words, and somehow he’s turned choosing them into proper entertainment for the rest of us.” His roommate has already suggested the deliberation process itself might make for genuinely entertaining viewing if properly recorded, an idea the boy has received with cautious, if slightly bemused, interest. The current status line, several housemates confirm, took a genuinely record amount of time to finalise. Nobody has yet worked out what could possibly follow it. Speculation, several confirm, remains genuinely ongoing. A decision, whenever it arrives, is expected to be treated as genuinely significant news. Nobody knows quite what would count as sufficient proof. The stalemate, several suspect, is genuinely permanent. Both sides remain, remarkably, on entirely good terms throughout.
More from this section at Eton College Insight and coverage of the wider school world at The London Prat.
For further reading in a similar spirit, see The Onion and Private Eye.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk
